I went for my annual appointment and told my doctor I was not having regular periods and had had 2 in about four or five months since I stopped nursing. She asked if I was pregnant, I said, nope! I had taken several tests, knew I wasn't. She asked if I wanted clomid yet since my history is irregular to ultimately zero periods, I told her not quite yet, but I'd call when we were ready. She prescribed me progesterone since it had been 60 days or so since my last period, but said to take one more pregnancy test before I took the medicine. I thought nothing of it.
I actually prayed the entire way home that night that God would tell me when HIS perfect timing was for us to have another child. It is very difficult to have it in my own hands of when to take pills and hopefully get pregnant. I wanted to hear, feel, know when God wanted that to be because trust me, His timing is SO much better than mine. I pretty much just mess things up. So I prayed, out loud in my car for a long time.
I got home, didn't even remember right away to take the test. As I was getting ready for bed I saw my stash of dollar general tests and remembered. I have to tell you every other time I've taken a pregnancy test I have anxiously awaited those little lines to pop up, most of the time not seeing the second one. This time I took it and threw it on the counter.
My mother called to tell me my little brother is in the hospital with an appendicitis and asks what I am doing. At that I glanced at the test and my jaw hit the floor. I said, I have to go. I cried. A LOT. I cried because I was SHOCKED. And suddenly I felt like N was so young. He was almost 14 months old. I thought, he's not ready to move downstairs and out of the nursery. He's so TINY! I walked downstairs with the test in my hand and Ben said, is this a joke? I cried again, no joke. He laughed and said why are you crying?! This is a good thing!!! I said are you sure? He said yes, this is what we wanted! (We just never knew it would be so easy this time around.)
After talking with my mom who also assured me how wonderful this would be and that N will be older when the baby finally gets here (clearly I wasn't thinking past the initial moment) and I will be having an end of April baby which lets me take about 6 weeks off and then I have the whole summer off, so new baby will be somewhere near 4 months old by the time I go back to work. Did God know what he was doing, or what?!
I am thrilled now (and was about an hour after the initial shock wore off because yes we were trying to get pregnant and wanted to get pregnant, I just didn't really think it would happen quickly, again... that's what I get for thinking I have ANYTHING to do with it.)
I am 11.5 weeks pregnant, so I didn't ovulate at a normal time, just some random day. Slowly getting over the nausea. I've heard the heartbeat twice and all is wonderful. N will be around 22 months when baby 2 gets here which really is wonderful. He won't remember being an only child and think, what the heck did you do?! ha!