All good things come to an end

Tomorrow is my very last day of work. Its hard to even think about. I've been at this job for 3.5 years and it was truly a life-saver. I got this position 3 weeks after I walked out of my previous job at a mortgage office. I didn't have anything lined up, but I knew I could not survive at that place for one more minute and I had to leave. It was the best thing I could have ever done for myself.

I was referred to my current position from a friend and started working the day after my interview as their office manager. At the time there were about 20 employees, all men. Its hard to believe that I've spent the last 3.5 years working with only men and probably talking their heads off, but I had always gotten along with guys easier than girls. Its been a fun and random few years to say the least!

We've had a few meltdowns about life, one over tampons (that was awkward!), but they've been right there, handled my tears and hysteria and loved me anyways. The company is owned by two brothers and they've known the entire time I've been in school that there would be an end date one day, but it still never seemed like it would really arrive. Then, 6 weeks ago when I decided I needed to intern fulltime and put in my official notice, I cried and cried and cried. Needless to say, these past 6 weeks have flown by. I've dreamed about my last day 6 or 7 times since and it often ends with no one caring that its my last day and they've even hired lots of women to replace me.

Well, my last day has arrived and it is tomorrow. Its hard to imagine not being there and someone else being in my place. It was the one place in my life that I was comfortable and pretty good at what I needed to do. I don't want to be replaced. I don't want to leave. I wish I could stay there AND pursue counseling.

I want my cake and to eat it too.