It's OFFICIAL!

I have finally and officially GRADUATED!

Saturday was my 'diploma date' although that didn't mean too much except that I now wait to hear from school to find out when they will post my degree. You'd think they'd do it on the diploma date, but nope. There was no summer commencement ceremony either which I was very disappointed about, but we had a small get together that made up for it!

One of my very best friends came in town from Dothan for the celebration and I was SO glad to see her!! As well as several friends that I have not had enough time to hang out with in the past year.... seriously or longer than a year. It was a wonderful night!

That is Emily on the left. There were actually about 20 or so people that came out to dinner, so it was a lot of fun! Ben even surprised me with an Edgar's cake.... you know the ones I may have mentioned a few times before that are AMAZING and so terribly addicting!


So after I ate a bit of the leftover cake today I did my very first P90x workout DVD! I gained 10lbs during my job search and have been searching for a gym since I got my new job a several weeks ago. I have not found one that is a.) affordable b.) has fitness classes around 3 or 4pm and c.) doesn't require a contract. I realize I'm picky, but come on! Those three things aren't that difficult.

I have been thinking of getting a DVD system instead that I can do at home. I mentioned that to one of the teachers at school Thursday and on Friday he showed up with the whole set of p90x DVDs for me to borrow! YAY! This is also a good thing because I feel rather obligated to use them since he is lending them to me. He'll probably ask me about them at school and I can't say, 'Well... I'm just too lazy..." so tonight I put in the 'chest and back' dvd and let me tell you.... my arms and shoulder are killing me..... which scares me a little because there actually is a dvd for arms and shoulders. So what the heck was I doing?! ha!

Anyways, back to graduation. Woo!! Next step is to get my official paperwork to the state, my transcripts to my school system and then I can be officially hired and paid as a counselor!!!! I will begin calling the university tomorrow and harassing them about posting my degree. Squeaky wheel gets the grease right?

The Old Wooden Rollercoaster

You know how the old-wooden roller coasters are the ones that everyone LOVES to ride at the park? Some places even advertise them as their best attraction. So you wait in the sweltering heat with lines of sticky kids who kick you in the chin while they swing on the bar separating you and 2000 other hot miserable people waiting for a 30-second thrill ride in a tiny cart with just a lap-belt holding you in. When you finally get to the front and the ride starts going, everything is so exciting as you climb that first steep hill and hear the click, click, click. Then as the ride lets loose and the cart starts soaring downward your head smashes into the side of the cart and you strain your neck so bad to hold your head in one place that your muscles ache and you forget about the ride because you are more worried about your brain bouncing around inside your skull. At the end, I think the pain in my neck and pounding in my head was not nearly worth the shot of adrenaline that came with the ride.

Welcome to this past week. It's been highs and lows of emotion and stress. One minute things are fabulous and the next they come crashing down. Literally. So, I've avoided writing anything until things have leveled itself out a bit. I think today is a good day to let you in though because they are looking up again!

First off, I think I told you I had 3 more interviews last week, yes?



Well, guess what....




I was offered a job!!!!


I was offered a job one day last week, and there are some stipulations to it that I will go into detail about after the job is officially mine, but one huge obstacle was paperwork from the university and my degree date. Apparently I graduate 2 days after school starts and the university would not BUDGE on any sort of letter or notice to inform this school system that I will in fact be graduating in August. This was the most frustrating part because for several days I was under the impression that I may not, in fact, be able to work at all until things are 'official' and 'official' can take weeks even MONTHS! The attitudes and rudeness I received from people was disheartening!

Anyways, several days of tears and frustration went by, but then Monday afternoon came, and I found out that the school system is more willing to work around the paperwork than the university is. Woo! I am still frustrated with the university that I have given A LOT of money and time to, and they were not even interested in coming up with a solution for one of their graduates to be employed.

So, we're back up on top today, that this is job offer is a possibility! It looks like everything will go through and I've been given a 'worst case scenario' that doesn't even sound that bad.

Thank the Lord! I know he has been the one to place this job in my lap and when it is official I will tell you all the wonderful details about it. I am very very excited and also very nervous. I don't want to mess anything (or anyone for that matter) up! Yikes!

Along the roller coaster we also bumped into some obstacles in the baby arena and I've struggled with the unconditional love that I am supposed to show some people in my life. However, I'm working through most of that with the Lord and pray he'll show me who it is he wants me to be and that HIS perfect plan and timing will take over my life!!

Certification? check!

I have (almost) conquered one more hurdle in the education world. I have assembled my lengthy and confusing packet for my certification. No one really even told me to get started on it either which is a little scary, but I sort of bumped into the information and started reading only to realize it was a lot of information that I had to do before the state would issue my Class A Professional Educators Certificate.

Our counseling program is newly CACREP accredited so I will actually be the first one to graduate in school counseling under these new guidelines. Which means, not too many people know the right way too go about getting my certification!

After many calls and faxes, I think I have it nearly 100% complete! I need a few more signatures that I will get Thursday on my trip to class and then I can send it to the state!

The ONE dilemma is that for my background check my first name and last name are flip flopped. Stupid. I know. I am sure that I did this last year or so and just never realized it until now... I'm wondering what sort of issues this will cause. If I call I'm sure they will tell me to redo it ($56), but if I don't will they just pull it up and let it slide?

Decisions, decisions....

The perfect prescription

I have made it all the way through the weekend and I have to say this has probably been the best weekend of the year. After making some decisions about handling my life better, I am very relieved!

Yesterday B and I went to the pool (he left without me once, but after a few phone calls was back to pick me up, lucky duck). He collected rocks for our never-ending yard projects and I laid in a raft and restarted reading The Wedding by Nicholas Sparks that I have been trying to read for 11 months. I successfully made it the further than I had gotten all year yesterday!

We came home and intended on cooking on the grill and being lazy, but my neighbor stopped by and was driving to the movies to see Sex and the City 2 with some friends and invited me along. It was great to go see a movie although you can read my actual review of it here.

Today was church and Sunday School. I had a really great lesson planned for today and only one kid showed up so I had him join with the high school class and I took myself on over to Target while B was in his new Sunday School class (it's a men's group on the power of prayer I think). I met my mom for lunch and went to the movies again! Now I'm home thinking about going back to Target to buy a Food Saver. But I want your opinion first. Have any of you actually used one of these?

My need is for produce to last longer. In trying to lessen my stress, I think it would help if I could go to the store for lettuce, veggies and fruit less. Last week I didn't eat a salad ALL week because my lettuce went bad and I didn't want to make the trip all the way to the grocery store for just lettuce. The FoodSaver says it will help lettuce stay good for 2-3 weeks instead of 2-3 days. What do you think?

Anyways, this weekend has been great and I really feel ready for this week. Knowing that I have less on my plate this week along with still more job possibilities is good. Prayers for these jobs and interviews. I am very ready for God to reveal my place, but I'm still waiting.

In the meantime, this song has been playing a lot on my ipod lately and I thought I'd share:

A Horse of a Different Color

I had a bad day yesterday. I let the exhaustion of life catch up to me and had a minor meltdown at my internship.

I typically try to not become hysterical in public too often, but occasionally it catches me by surprise... like yesterday! I just really never knew how mentally exhausting job searching would be!

Let me explain. Yesterday I received a phone call at 11am from my mother-in-law who's counselor friend called her and asked why I was not interviewed at School X where counselor friend worked and was leaving. (You follow?) So MIL calls and asks me the same thing. I said... "well I don't know, I applied, interviewed with the board and emailed my resume to the principal, I don't know why they didn't interview me." I mean really... how would I know?!

I think the part that was the hardest was that I was told by the board that they would pass my name along and I would not need to pursue the principals any further, they would get my name to the principals. This obviously didn't work so well since I did not get the interview.

I really have no idea why they didn't. It could have been that they gave the principal 20 names, and she narrowed it down, or that they went out of town and didn't get the names over in time... who knows.

So I called her counselor friend and asked her what I should do. She said, come by NOW!!

I left my internship in a panic, went home (30 minutes) and put my suit on, drove back to School X and caught the principal before she was leaving for the day where counselor friend handed her my resume and the principal pulled me in for an interview right then!

This was probably my worst interview yet because of the hectic-ness of it, but it really didn't go too terribly. I just didn't feel I got to tell her the best parts about myself. Most importantly though I now feel that for that particular position I did all I could do and now it is in God's hands. If I don't get it, then its not in his plans and I'm very okay with that. I just want to make sure I am doing all my part in this process.

Last night I gave my VERY last graduate school presentation/project. Can you believe it?! From here on out I am just logging hours and interning, but have very little requirements!

I also realized yesterday that it is time to clear some things off my plate, which is VERY hard for me to do! We talk in class about self-care a lot and how important it is in helping professions like counseling and social-work, but it is easy to put that on the back burner and push myself to give more than necessary and be an over achiever. I don't like saying "No" to people. I don't like not being able to do everything for everyone all the time and I know this is something I struggle with. I have always struggled with it.

Since December I have been at either a job or internship 5 days a week. In January I started spending every Saturday at my parent's paint store handling the books. In March I quit working at my paying job and starting interning full time. In March Ben and I also started teaching Sunday school with the expectation that there would be 2 other couples to rotate with. In April, both couples dropped out. So I have no day off. There is not a single day that doesn't require work or planning and it has finally caught up to me to the point that I cannot handle it.

Yesterday was a turning point because I just am way too exhausted to keep going at 150% 7 days a week.

I talked to my supervisors at my internship today who saw my meltdown yesterday and talked me through it, but today my supervisor asked where I stand in hours. (Remember those 600 hours I've been logging for 5 months?) Well, I only need 40 more INdirect hours which means yes, I have officially gotten every bit of my 240 DIRECT hours! And today my amazing, wonderful supervisor told me that I can take days off, I can take vacation, I can stay at home if I need to and not come back, if it is what I need. She said I have gone above and beyond her expectations and that I shouldn't feel like I need to continue to intern 5 days a week. After I told her that I only needed 40 indirect hours she said, then I am going to make you take 2 or 3 days off. You need it!

I have to agree, I need it.

I feel so much better that I HAVE gotten this far and can cut back a little.

So here is my plan for at least this next week: I am not going to go to the paint store on Saturday. I am going to sleep in on Saturday! I will go to the paint store on Monday. Intern Tuesday with an interview on Tuesday afternoon. Take Wednesday off to go to another interview (YAY!) and intern Thursday and Friday.

How does that sound? MUCH more doable and less stressful??

My favorite part is that I can sleep in tomorrow and go to the pool with Ben!!!

I am so thankful for this!

When it rains it pours!

I had an interview today!

Thank you for all your prayers. I think I handled it really well. I don't remember stuttering or rambling too much. It was only about 35 minutes, but there were only 8 predetermined questions they could ask (they said to make it fair and standardized). It was a good first interview.

The best part is that today, I received two phone calls for two more interviews!! One tomorrow and one Friday. They are both with someone at a school system, not a direct school like the one today. I may be a little more nervous, but I hope this gets easier.

My supervisor told me last week that the best jobs she's gotten were the ones that came out at the end of the summer. Hopefully I won't have to wait that long, but you never know. It's never the end of the road and at least I can say I've survived my first official counseling interview.

Whew!

Birthdays, Babies & Business

So lets talk real for a minute. (Something I am not very quick to do.)

I'm turning 27 in 5 days and I think that means I'm growing up.

Apparently its inevitable. (I've been told its, "Better than the alternative.")

Well, I'm not getting any younger and if you put 2 + 2 together, you probably gathered that I'm itching to have kids. Ben and I are settled people, and I have to admit that turning 27 makes me a little more ready for it, but also, having PCOS is a huge part of wanting kids to happen sooner than later.

Its no secret that it may take a long time for me to get pregnant. I do feel blessed that I have known about this for years. I always knew that when I wanted to have kids I wouldn't be one of those people who decided now was the time and 9 months later pop out a baby. I'm okay with that. I have very strong faith and I have know since I have a conscious memory that I am going to be a mother.

But its become a little more tricky than just waiting and seeing...

I graduate in 3 months.... THREE!

Once I was within 10 months of graduating the baby talk got louder because that was when Ben and I always planned that we'd be ready. When I was done with school, we'd be free to have babies!

Now that it is all a reality and we've been not trying to not be pregnant for quite some time, its becoming very real that, wow, I am going to have to make a decision on when exactly we want to REALLY pursue getting pregnant (ie: assistance).

I was doing really well leaving it up to God. Now, you may think, well that is because you knew you wouldn't get pregnant, right? And yeah, that probably made me less nervous, thinking that it wasn't likely I would get pregnant, but I also have always thought, maybe I will.... maybe I will defy the odds and then if I did, it was 100% God's will! But that hasn't happened.

In school counseling, and the ideal world, you would get pregnant in August and have a baby in May working it around the school year to have the summer off and not have to lose pay if you don't have time off built up.

In an ideal world right?

But I'm not so sure we live in that world.

So I can't stop the 'what if' questions. This is where I am struggling with the where does Faith come in... if I am supposed to DO something to make it or make it not happen, how do I know? Make sense? How am I going to know if God wants it to happen now or later. Can he just send me an email? Take those pills THIS month! :)

So you want to know the what ifs? Probably not because I don't really believe in 'what ifs' either... but right now I'm stuck in them.

Okay, just for fun....
What if all the assistance works like its supposed to and (yay!) I get pregnant as planned.... will I be able to make it through my FIRST year as a counselor pregnant? What if I get pregnant and I am due or have the baby before school is out? Will I keep my job having to take maternity leave without having any time off yet? What if I wait and then it takes so long to actually get pregnant and I lose very precious time?? (I think what if 3 scares me more than anything).

I am very ready to be a mom. I am ready to be stable. I am ready to have a job. To make it work.

Problem is: I don't have that job. I don't know where I will be, I don't know how long it will take to get pregnant. I don't know anything! :) Yes, scream to me that this is where Faith comes in. Faith is believing what you cannot see. (Repeat) But I just want to make sure that I am not going to make the wrong decision.

Bottom line: I want to get pregnant. Ben says he's ready the DAY I sign a contract for a job. But I am afraid that I will ruin an opportunity that God has given me if I jump the gun too soon. If he hasn't let me get pregnant so far, how do I know that its not Him telling me the time isn't right?

I've had many people tell me, don't work kids around a career, don't try to plan or you'll never have them, there is never a perfect time, don't wait until you have enough money because there is never enough money.... on and on.


Anyways... lots of questions....

PS - Tonight officially started my birthday week (or week and a half)!

Internship - Round 3

Okay, so finally I get to tell you about my internship!

Its all set in place. (Whew!)

I had my interview on Thursday at my 3rd and final internship placement: my old high school!

It went fabulous! There was great chemistry, lots of connections and they officially accepted me to become their intern.

I am thrilled for so many reasons.

First, it is a wonderful school with a really good counseling program. There are currently 3 other counselors there for me to learn from.

Second, for me, this is a huge turning point in becoming a counselor. Two years ago, I remember thinking, "I could NEVER work at my old high school.... I'd never be respected... I'd never know what I was doing.... I would be so intimidated." But one day, things changed; I realized I can do this and that it would probably even be fun to be back at my old school! I have no idea who of my old teachers are still there, but there are several girls that I know that work there now.

Third, its in a GREAT school system, a different system from my last two placements, and still only 35 minutes from my house. No different than what I've been driving for the past 4 years.

Finally, there could possibly be an open position there.... possibly! I don't know for sure, and I don't think the counselors there even know for sure, but just the possibility is exciting enough for me.

I start on May 11 for my last internship of my graduate program!

I'm still very much praying and asking God to keep preparing me for where he wants me to be after August.

In the meantime, I have 2 power points and 2 papers left for this semester along with my current internship, but once those papers and power points are out of the way, I should have ZERO assignments left before graduation. Seriously.... zero!

Welcome Spring

I'm home!!

The beach was VERY fun! It was a co-ed bachelor/bachelorette party for my college roommate Beth and her soon-to-be, Scott. 22 people slept in a house that normally held 16!!!! There were 7 people in my room alone. Tight squeeze!


We had the right side of this house and it was wonderful that the left side was tied up in a foreclosure, because I'm pretty sure they would NOT have been happy to have our group as neighbors. Thank goodness for ear-plugs!!!

It wasn't quite as warm as we hoped, but we played a lot of frisbee and botchiball.

and Jenga!
This picture is hilarious.... Look at Heather and Ashley's faces!


I ate crab claws and WAY too much junk food.
I think I came home w/ almost as much food as I took. Not a good sign.

Some people drank too much ^.


And then their wife may or may not have gotten his car stuck in the sand and left the window down over night with 30 mph winds and rain. That could have happened.

It was VERY windy Saturday and Sunday.

It was so much fun and sweet Beth and Scott are getting married this Saturday! I am very excited for them. They are one of those couples that when we found out they were dating a few years back, it was like, "Why haven't ya'll done this sooner?!" They are just perfect for each other in every way. They make sense.

But, now that life is back in full-swing: This is my first week interning full-time and it includes testing (where everyone and everything is chaotic) and hopefully 4 small counseling groups for K-2nd graders. I am not looking forward to driving back to class though this week. I am not working in downtown Birmingham anymore, so it means I'll be interning 20 minutes west of me and then driving an hour east to school twice a week.

Last week was so nice that I almost forgot that going back to internship meant going back to class too!!! I'm VERY ready for class to be over. 5 weeks left! I think I will really appreciate my first semester without class come August.

Let's just pray I'll be too occupied with a new job to notice ;)

Dissappointment at the end of the tunnel

Have I mentioned before that there is no commencement ceremony if you graduate in August from UAB? I am so sad.

I wasn't big on walking in undergrad. In fact, I almost didn't, but one of my best friends told me I'd regret it if I didn't and she would have been very right. Plus, I'm always a fan of a good photo opportunity, so at the last minute I signed up and walked at the end of my 5th-year for a 4-year degree.


That day I NEVER in a million years thought I'd go back to school. It only took a few short months (maybe even weeks) for me to change my mind though.

Then when I decided to go back to school, I never imagined how hard it would be! I was told there was an interview process to be accepted into the program, which I was fine with. In fact, I didn't think twice about it. I dressed fairly business casual and didn't really even think about what I would say because I thought, no big deal, we'll just talk and all will be fine. Well, it was much more intense and intimidating than I ever thought.

My grandfather was ill that day and minutes before my name was called my mom called to tell me that he had suddenly passed away. I literally said to my mom, "I can't hear that right now, I'll have to call you back." Deep breath... and I went into a room with 5 professors. Deep breath. They began asking me questions like, "What are some experiences you have had working with diverse populations?" Uh... diverse? Hmm.... my answer: "I hiked 12-miles to the bottom of the grand canyon to spend a week with the Havasupai tribe." Yep... that was about it. (Maybe if I had planned I could have come up with more activities, volunteer projects and extraordinary things I had done.) Throughout the interview I was told I was prejudiced, inexperienced and very sheltered. Keep in mind... my grandfather had JUST passed away also. When I was told I was prejudiced I remember taking a HUGE deep breath and saying to myself... just don't cry in front of these people.... DON'T CRY. Amazingly enough (every emotion I have comes out in tears)... I didn't.

I left the interview (convinced I would never be accepted and needed to find a new plan for life) and a professor that would later become one of my favorite stepped out with me and asked me if I was okay. Open the floodgates.... (I can hold it in pretty well until you ask that question) I bawled about my grandfather and probably blubbered a few other random things before telling him "Thank you for this opportunity."

Well, after all that I was surprisingly accepted into the program.

Sorry, I got a little side-tracked.

Back to graduation.

So this degree has been a huge growing experience for me. I have really learned to stand on my feet during all of this and have become passionate about something that I actually feel I am good at. A feeling I did not have when I graduated the first time.

I was REALLY looking forward to graduation.

(Not so much the green cap and gown though.)

So now that I have learned that there is not a graduation ceremony for summer graduates, I have a few options: Walk the semester after I graduate (which will be when a very close friend of mine is also walking) or don't walk at all and rent a cap & gown of a more flattering color and go stand by our very fun 'Blazer' statue that also happens to blow smoke for a picture or two.

Jealous?

I have also told Ben a trillion times once or twice that he needs to plan a huge graduation party for me because I am not planning my own (or probably will and just sign Ben's name to everything... I've never been a fan of planning my own parties to celebrate me). This party is even MORE important now that there will be no actual ceremony!

Well, today Ben received an email from his company asking to please let them know if they, their spouses or children have graduated/will graduate this year so they can be recognized in some form or fashion that Ben thinks will be with a party. (WOO!)

I said, "SIGN ME UP!" Ben is a little shocked and probably embarrassed that I want to do this. I don't really know anyone at his company since he and I have worked over an hour apart for 3 years and they haven't had any company functions since the economy went to crap.

But, I have worked very hard for this degree and I'll take any recognition I can get (or any excuse to go to a party)!

So what would you do? Walk late? Not walk? Rent a cap & gown? Give the 'Blazer' a huge hug?!

Blessings

I have mentioned this a few times before regarding my school and how every door that needed to be opened was opened and as my great friend said tonight, they were also HELD open!

Well I just wanted to share because this has been a very rewarding, but tough journey at times, especially lately.

A few weeks ago my internship supervisor asked if could come 5 days a week soon because testing starts and its a very overwhelming time! I also thought it would be good for me, because I felt like I wasn't getting as much in-school time as I needed due to training and such outside the school too. I want to be able to do both! Well, I came home and was very nervous to bring this up to Ben. Financially I just didn't know how we could do it. Granted, I'd already dropped down to only 2 paid days a week, and we'd managed okay thus far, but losing those 2 days would be pretty hard. It would mean no more internet or cable and no more carb-free diet (that produce is just expensive!)

I brought it up when I got home and Ben wasn't as against it as I thought! He just said that if this was what I needed to do to make sure I had a job in the future than he supported it. So we decided to just pray that God would give us an answer over the next week or so. (Keep in mind I really don't want to leave my current paid job... I've been there for 3.5 wonderful years and really enjoy the people I work with, its the one thing in my life right now that I am sure of and comfortable with.)

The next day (Saturday) I went off to my 3rd job at my parent's store. I am also not being paid for this job, because my parents just bought a paint store and are trying to get it up off the ground. I am blessed enough to understand the books, taxes, insurance, etc. and have volunteered my time to help them get things running. While I was there that following Saturday I had a minor breakdown because things just weren't getting done while I wasn't there and its tough driving an hour and a half up there once a week and doing all that needs to be done. My dad said to me: "Can I please just hire you so you can come up here every weekend and get us really moving in the right direction."

Was this my answer?!
I mean surely it is not this clear cut, right?

I was a little shocked because this was the last place I expected to find money or a part time job to support us. I hadn't even told my dad about my dilemma or prayers.


When I left work that day, I called my long-time best friend and ran this by her to be sure I wasn't just imagining it and she confirmed that she thought this was God really answering my prayer.


Well, I was pretty pleased and thankful that God has been providing no matter what I needed and I was really focusing on having faith that he is guiding us on his path. But then attitudes started to change a bit. That next week I started hearing from more than one person that I was not going to be qualified to be a school counselor. That I wouldn't be able to handle testing material, that I wasn't going to be certified. On and on. Now, this went on for several days and truly exhausted me. It was discouraging and stressed me out, but I continued to pray. I prayed for God to give me guidance and calm me down because I know that he has gotten me this far for a reason.

Well a few days after that Ben comes home from work and tells me that he met with a principal of one of the local school systems and how the principal told Ben that he didn't understand why I was going through with school counseling when I wouldn't be able to be certified without having a teaching certificate, I would probably not find a job, etc.

Ben (no offense to him) ate this up. He came home that night and was a wreck, panicked about what this man told him. He caught me off guard because he was the last person I expected to have to defend my job/career/education to (Trust me, he's heard all the ins and outs of my educational trials, I thought he would be pretty educated on the topic!)


This was when I realized something. I realized this was the devil pulling at me and when he tried for 2 weeks to bring me down off my confident cloud of trust and faith, he went after Ben. He found Ben's one fear, his weakest spot (that I will not have a job after graduation) and dove right in.


Amidst all of this I was still praying and really crying out about what I needed to do regarding all of this school and interning, if that was really my answer, why then was it so hard and was this all what I really needed to do?


I went back and forth, back and forth. Was this my answer?? So I went to my real job that Tuesday and was quite upset about all of it. I brought it to one of my bosses with a lot of tears and he was as kind as could be assuring me that if this was where God was guiding me, we'll make it work. At the end of the day I put in my 6-week notice. (VERY sad...) Then, this past Tuesday, I told my other boss (who had been briefed by my 1st boss... his brother) and I was back in tears again, but he promised we'd get through this and things were okay.

Whew....


Well today I went to my internship and not only got to sit in on some very important meetings but was also able to visit with some kids too! And then I see I have a missed call and a text from Ben that says, "Call me as soon as you are possibly able to." I'm thinking... Oh great, who died? I call and call and call and he doesn't answer. Great... back to meetings. Then he called back, so I slipped out quickly to see what the heck was going on and guess what....



BEN GOT A PROMOTION!!!! I mean if that is not God saying, 'Yes you are working in the right direction', I don't know what is! Since we have turned our lives, finances, jobs and everything over to God, we have been truly truly blessed. I never imagined that we'd get this far and be so taken care of, but I think God is honoring our faithfulness right now and saying keep up the great work.

I know there are days on top of the mountain and days in the valley, where I'm sure I'll be back to shortly, but its those days trudging through the valley I learn and grow and become stronger... so I look forward to those as much as I look forward to moments like this, when God assures me that He is in control. He will provide. He has a better plan for me than I could ever imagine.


So currently, I'm working out the remainder of my 1st job and praying that God will just continue to guide me and I'm trusting that he has a place for me after graduation, wherever that may be!!

*And lastly - snow day tomorrow! :)

Its 11pm, do you know where your kids are?

I am rarely up this late, but this is the ONLY time I can get on blogger lately!

I'm stressed, I'm overwhelmed and pulled to my limit. And I tell you what, God knows this.

Today I went to a conference where I heard MANY speakers and politicians... some talked about kids and a lot talked about themselves. One speaker went over the top though and I wanted to share a little bit about him and how God knew I was nearing my limit.

His name is John Croyle. All you Alabamians out there of course know of him b/c he has a very famous son, Brodie Croyle, former quarterback for the Crimson Tide, and now quarterback for a Pro Team... (seriously I should know which one). Anywho... John Croyle also played for the University of Alabama back in the 70s under Coach Bear Bryant. From what I heard today he almost went pro, but had a heart for underprivileged, neglected and abused children. Well, you can read all the details if you click his name above, but fast forward to today where he owns a Ranch to raise these children. He and his wife have raised over something like 1600 kids without ANY government funding.

Well, he is an amazing speaker and talked about how God placed him where he is and he has a very strong faith. What I loved about today were his rules or promises he tells the children when they come to live at the Ranch. He said if you follow through on these promises to your children, you will raise a successful child of God.

He tells them all:
1. I love you.
2. I will NEVER lie to you.
3. I will take care of you until you are grown.
4. There are boundaries, do not cross them.

He says by these 4 things you will prove to these children that you care, are dependable, are trustworthy and there is discipline. He said every single child wakes up every day wanting to know if you still love them, no matter if they are adopted, biological, foster, etc. They all want to know if you will still love them if they screw up. Will you still be there if they stumble and fall....?

Seriously, this man and his speech was amazing. He went on to talk about our purposes in life and how God calls us to bear fruit with the purpose he gave us & how to do just that. This is what I needed to hear today of all days. I needed to hear that I am doing all this for a reason beyond myself, beyond my colleagues & professors... I am doing this for the children that need me, for the children that God will place in my life to serve. I have been stressed, intimidated, nervous, worried.... all for what? If I trust God has placed me where I am today, what is there to fear? I need to take a few deep breaths and keep moving forward because I would surely disappoint if I turned my back this far in.

So I am still tired, but I'm ready and eager. I know God still has his plan. I pray that he continues to shine a light on it so I can follow. I pray that he will use me to further his plan.

I took a lot of notes today along with a few sermons this past week that I would love to share. If I could ever end up with all the notes, computer, computer cords and be awake at the same time... I'll get them up here.

School - A confession

Remember the other day when I was tired of school?

Well, I had my first class of the semester tonight and I do for a fact, love school. I love class at least. I love learning new things and new people's perspectives. I love the camaraderie of classmates all learning such a specific skill set and going through the same things at relatively the same time. Even though we all are bringing in unique circumstances, we all are experiencing the same professors, exams, internship requirements, not-being-able-to-work-full-time-for-money requirements, etc. I really really enjoy this.

What is tiring is that class meets 5:30-8pm after I've already worked 8-5pm, or sometimes like Thursday, it meets 6:30-8pm after I worked from 8-5 and I can't go home between 5-6:30 because I live 45 minutes away from school. That part is hard. It is also expensive. I go to a state university which is fairly cheap compared to some (most) and it is $800+ per class per semester. So $1600... to intern for free...

But still with all those things, and all the work, I still enjoy it and will miss the class, camaraderie and learning, when I leave there in August.

The other day while making Ben participate in my monthly planning meeting (I'm a planner... I plan WAY in advance... you should see my calendar... and budget!) I was telling him all the possible ways I could complete my licensure after graduation and one of the ways involved going back to school (or never really leaving). This turned him into crazy-Ben, where he gets kinda defensive and freaks a little and doesn't make much sense except to say, "No you can't do that." Hah! I totally get his thinking, "Why on earth would I want to go back/keep going?! Why would I not relish (?) in my free afternoons and use my precious $1600 each semester to spend on Buggy-related things?!" But tonight I realized why... I really do secretly love school.

Day 1 - Internship

Today went well thanks to a TON of prayers. I have a great counselor as my supervisor and the school is run very smoothly. I still haven't met for class due to our 'winter storm' we had last Thursday, so I don't even know what is expected of me as a 2nd semester intern yet. I've been told it is not as extensive as last semester (weekly tapes, weekly supervision sessions along with weekly class, etc.). So we'll see.

The school is 11 miles from my house!!! All I can say is amazing. I've been driving 35+ miles one way to work for a few years, so 11 miles is wonderful!!!

Also, this semester is elementary kids and oh my goodness... they are so small! Last semester was middle school and some of the kindergartners look like they need to go back to preschool.... itty... bitty.

I'm excited though and even more excited for this to be under my belt and have a real paid job one day :)

Happy Monday!

Get ready...

Get set... Go!

With the new year comes a new semeseter, my second to last one!!!!!

I start class this Thursday (this should be my official last semester of actual class).
I take the Praxis (for school counseling) on Saturday!
I then start my second semester of interning on Monday. (I'm really praying about this one, for God to calm my anxious heart.... he got me successfully through one semester, I know he can do it again).
Then, my second class starts Tuesday nights.

I'll be interning 3 days a week this term and only working (paid) two days so Ben and I are on a super budget. I've even been reading some blogs of people doing a 'eat what's in your pantry' challenge and I'm challenging Ben and I to the same for several months. I need to perfect my couponing and saving.

It's a lot of things that are about to begin and will probably go by very quickly!
Let's go!

Update

Well the brother and the dogs are doing okay. Chris has about a trillion stitches in his head, but other than resembling Frankenstein, he's good (I asked him politely if I could take his picture for my blog and when I came back with the camera he was locked in his room). He even went to work yesterday which I was a little shocked about. He really does look like he was run over by a truck and he is a server! Yikes... I would pay someone that looked like that NOT to wait on me.

The dogs are okay, and we're still completly shocked at their fight. We will never be keeping them alone together again. (Even though before Friday night, they absolutely loved and adored each other for 3 years.) Logan now has on the 'Cone of Shame' and is very angry about it. She thinks when you put the cone on her it means she can't move. I try to show her she can still move, but she doesn't believe me. Its quite pitiful.

The exam also went okay. It was pretty simple, except very unrealistic. One part of it played 'voicemail' type messages and then you had 2 minutes to write a message as if you were delivering it to all your co-workers (very dumb) and all the people who left 'voice mails' had super accents from anywhere but the south. Apparently, not only do southerners talk slow, but I think I hear slow too... It was quite strange and considering a I rarely hand write anything now, let alone in under 2 minutes, my arm and hand did cramp up and turn into a claw for a few hours after I was finished.

Anywho... after this weekend, I'm not feeling a Not Me Monday other than it was Not Me who had a horrible, no good, very bad weekend. Bring on Tuesday!

'twas the night before my exam

I'm not responsible for what I blog after 3 hours of sleep:



'Twas the night before my exam, when all through the house

Two creatures were stirring, probably b/c of a mouse;

The dogs had bitten each other, had blood in their hair,

In hopes that one of them would kill the other right there;

The child went home with Nana, and then straight to bed,

While visions of death danced in the dogs heads;

And Ben in his north face, and I in my cap,

stumbled upon this scene and thought, oh snap!

When out in the kitchen there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the garage to see what was the matter.

Away to the livingroom I flew like a flash,

saw blood all over everything and knew there was a gash.

Ben said, don't worry, I'll handle this now.

You have an exam tomorrow, close your eyes if you know how,

zzzz....

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,

But a miniature cell phone, and a song bringing cheer,

With eyes so tired and wondering what the fliss,

I knew in a moment it must be the brother Chris.

More strange were his sentences as they rambled and came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and told me his name;

"I've been in an accident, I have stitches times seven,

Come to the hospital I think I just saw Blitzen!

To the top of the bed, I sat straight up and tall,

"What the heck are you talking about, goodness to all?!"

As whimpers and moans reminded me my poor Logan was hurt,

Could it be 4am and Chris has blood on his shirt?!

So up to the hospital the family they flew,

With the head full of worry, and stress filled them too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard the alarm,

With dread and panic, the exam would do much harm.

As I fumbled to get out of bed, and was turning around,

Down the road then the interstate, I went with a bound.

I nearly passed out, from my head to my feet,

And my clothes were all tarnished, I wish I could cheat!

A bundle of worries I had on my back,

I looked like a peddler that had taken a whack.

My eyes -- how they burned! my hair, how scary!

My cheeks were like roses, but yet still so wary!

3 hours of sleep, and wondering how,

I was about to take an exam, it starts right now.....

A reenactment

Operator at NBCC: "National Board for Certified Counselors, how may I direct your call?"

Me: "Well, I'm not sure really since I'm calling to find out if my results have been sent in the mail for the exam I took 8 whole weeks and 2 days ago back in October. Can you help me with that?"

Operator at NBCC: "The department that handles that request is running on a 2-week delay due to an illness. Your results will be mailed out as soon as possible, thank you for understanding."

Me: "UGH..... Well, is there anyway to tell which results have been sent out?"

Operator: "Your results will be mailed out as soon as possible and no further information is available."

Me: "Are you sure there is no..."

Operator: "Yes ma'am, I am sure, you will have to wait for your results they should be mailed within the next 2 weeks if they haven't already."

Me: "Ooookkkaaaayyy...... thanks."

Walking in a winter wonderland...

Saturday morning I woke up to a beautiful wintry wonderland white roof... The world in Alabama goes a bit crazy with the mention of 'snow' and everyone was super excited about it. I did not get to see it actually coming down because I think it happened between midnight and 4am, but this is what it looked like around 6am Saturday morning. I was still very excited!


I'm sure you are wondering what crazy person is up at 6am on Saturday morning.... or maybe that was me. Well, I had a workshop to go to and got to see even more of the snow on my drive into Birmingham:

Ooooh....Ahhhh.....

Waiting....

In case you are wondering what kind of images pop up in google images when you type in the word, "Waiting" - here ya go! Interesting... huh? (I look just like the one on the end right now).

It has now been 33 days since I took the NCE and I'm still waiting to hear about the results. It said 6-8 weeks, so I guess I still have a minimum of 9 days.... its killing me! I read a ton of blogs of people who have taken the NCE and many said, just when they forgot about it, the results came in the mail. Well... 33 days and counting and I haven't forgotten about it.

Speaking of... I recommend this song to everyone: